So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
