Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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