I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
