He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
