he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
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Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
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You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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