What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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