You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
