i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
