i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
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His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
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When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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