Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize