Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
