Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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