When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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