I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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