She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
