I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
