he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
