I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
