Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
