Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
