Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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