he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
There's always time for handjobs
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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