There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
