Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
