i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Randomize
