Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
