dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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