I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
