Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize