dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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