Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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