Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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