I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
