I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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