Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
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There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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