I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize