What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
