when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
