so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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