Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
