Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
