i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
