when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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