Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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