I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
