i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she smelled like a LAN party
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
