Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
