When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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