wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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