There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
