Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
