My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
