yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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