every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
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Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
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The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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