so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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